Sometimes Being a Grown-Up Sucks

Today we had to put down our dog, Jack.  He was our 2nd pet.  We got him about a year after we felt "grown up" enough to handle a cat.  I can pretty confidently say that Jack was one of the best dogs ever.  You could do anything with him or to him.  Until Molly was born, Jack was our baby.  And once Molly & Emmett were born, he was the best big brother to them both.

In January, Jack started having seizures.  Our vet put him on meds and they seemed to be helping until the other night.  Since Wednesday, he'd been having seizures every few hours.  Afterward, he would be completely woozy & out of it and the more he had, the harder it was for him to come out of them.  By this morning, he wasn't even waking up between them.  It was so hard to watch.  When we went to the vet this morning, they offered to add a new medicine, but our vet could really only say that he might have a few more good months and couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be anymore sets of days like this.  Actually, he could guarantee that there would be days like this.  Jack definitely hadn't been himself since the first round of seizures.  Sitting there at the vet with him on the floor, mostly asleep (when he used to love going to the vet), it hit me that he was pretty much gone and that it was me being selfish to keep trying new meds.

We had the kids come to the vet's office to say goodbye.  They were both so gentle with Jack.  It was really amazing to watch.  Emmett just patted him on the head.  Molly gave him the most wonderful hugs and kept saying how much she loved him & how much she would miss him.

Tonight when I put Emmett to bed, we say goodnight to all of our family members.  Before I could stop myself, I said, "Good night, Jack Dog."  And Emmett said, "Night, Jack" in his adorable 1-year-old voice. God that sucked.  It was so cute and so sweet.

Trying to explain to our 3-year-old why she wasn't going to see her best friend again was heartbreaking.  I don't think she full understands this whole thing but she kind of does - I'm not sure which is worse.  She asked who was going to feed Jack if he wasn't going to live with us anymore.  We tried to explain that he was going to fall asleep and he wasn't going to wake up.  And I think that hit home for her.  She hasn't really cried but every now & then she just buries her head in her hands and cuddles up with us.  I really don't know what to do other than hug her - especially when I'm barely holding it together myself.

I don't want to throw away his dog dishes or his bed.  I don't know what to do with his food.  I keep looking for him, expecting him to be laying on his bed or looking for something to eat & then realizing that I'm never going to see that again.

Ugh - being a grown-up sucks sometimes.

It's Been Awhile

The weekend before last, my lovely husband took both children grocery shopping.  Mommies - you know what that means: some much needed free time.

Want to know what I did?  I pooped.  I pooped without hearing any screaming of "Mommy, Emmett hit me!" or "Mommy, Jack ate my Cheerios!"  (Jack is our Golden Retriever.)  or a small person bursting through the door to sit on the stairs of our bathroom while I try to maintain some small sense of dignity.

Too much information?  Probably.  But if you're a parent, you know how wonderful it is to be home alone in your own house.  And I don't want any comments from those of you with pets.  You have no idea what it's like to try to use the bathroom while you're alone with small children.  And if you have no pets and no children, it's times like second paragraph that I hate you and your ability to poop in private and sleep past 7 AM whenever you want.

I Will Go To Hell For My Angry Driving

Okay, I love to drive.  I even love to drive in my big old Soccer Mom van.  There is however a long list of people who piss me off day in & day out on my commute to work.  I would like to share that list with you.

1) People From Vermont.  As a general rule, people from Vermont are the worst drivers.  They fall into every category that I'm about to list below.  I don't know who's worse, people from Vermont or people from Ohio.

2) Most People In the Left Lane.  Driving the speed limit in the left lane should be against the law.  Some of us have places to go, people to see and the middle or right lanes are perfect for those of you who want to go the speed limit.

3) Upper Middle Class Housewives In Luxury SUVs.  I go to work at noon.  These ladies are always in their (insert BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, etc.) SUVs, talking on their phones (that's illegal by the way), not paying any attention to anyone else on the road.  I will point out that generally the worst offenders are driving Cadillac Escalades.

4) People Who Don't Use A Turn Signal.  Start.  It helps everyone.

5) People Who Slow To An Almost Standstill To Take A Right Turn.  It's unnecessary.  Your car will not flip over if you take a right turn going faster than 3 miles an hour.

6) Practically Everyone Driving In The Rain.  We don't need to slow down so much.  Just saying.

I realize that one day my super long fingers will give me excruciating arthritis.  But for now, I'll just be thankful that they allow me to give awesome middle fingers and eat me signs to the people that piss me off on the road.

The Tree Is Decorated

There is a reason why my Mom didn't let us help decorate the tree until we were oh, say, teenagers.

If you don't know me well, let me start by saying that I lean more towards the obsessive/compulsive side of things.  If you do know me well, I assume you have a mental image of this evening.

I can usually watch my children make giant messes and put their toys away in the totally wrong place (as long as it's off the floor, I'm generally happy).

Decorating the tree, however, is something that I have lovely mental images of: slowly taking ornaments out of their boxes, picking the perfect place to put them - you get the idea.  That is not what happened tonight.  It started off well enough: Molly was putting non-breakable ornaments on the bottom branches and Emmett was busy pushing one of Molly's dolls around in its stroller.  Which was great.  Until Molly got her stool to put ornaments up higher.  Then Emmett just wanted to push Molly off the stool so he could get on.  Molly started yelling because Emmett was pushing her.  Then Emmett noticed the ornaments and pulled some of them off the tree.  Molly started yelling because Emmett was knocking things off the tree.  Then Molly wanted to start pulling ornaments out of the box herself, which meant that my lovely organized tree turned quickly into 90% of the ornaments on the bottom 1% of the tree.  And I tried to keep my head from exploding.  At one point, I just left the scene and put E in pajamas to keep from losing it while Molly kept pulling things out being like, "Oh look at this one!" then putting it down & grabbing another one, "Can we do this one next?"

I know... I know... I need to relax and enjoy the moment, that I'll be sad when they're older & they don't care about decorating the tree.  So I'll try.  And if not, next time I'll just go put my pajamas on.

Was It Worth It?

Seeing everyone's posts this weekend about the great deal they got at this store or that, I had to ask myself - was it worth it?

Was it worth spending your Thanksgiving plotting which store you would hit first to try to get that one thing you "had" to have?  Did you miss a moment with your family that you'll never get back while pouring over the ads?

Was your desire for a $200 TV worth the big-box employee having to leave their Thanksgiving dinner to get to work in time to have their store open at midnight?  Or the employee who worked a split shift on Thanksgiving to get stock out and set up the promotions so that they didn't get a chance to spend the day with their family?  Was it worth the Target employee who crashed her car because she was so exhausted after her Black Friday shift?

We talk about the greed of the 1%, of the big businesses in America... maybe that greed is not so far away after all.  When people are pepper-spraying other customers, maybe it's time for all of us to take a good look in the mirror.

My Kids Crack Me Up

This morning, Molly has been particularly funny.  The last thing she's been doing was having her birds, Jewel and Blue (from Rio) hitting each other and then making them apologize and have a time out.  While doing this, she's saying things like, "Blue it is not nice to hit your friends.  Say you're sorry to Jewel and then go sit over here in time out."  Then putting them on the trampoline while she jumps - which I suppose is a pretty good punishment if toys are really like they are in Toy Story.

Right now she's practicing tracing letters on her Leapfrog thing.  And doing an incredible job.  It's crazy how one day they just decide things are interesting.

Emmett's vocabulary is exploding lately - I love this stage.  It's adorable when he says, "Bye!" and gives people big hugs and "Whee!" when he does anything fun.  But I think my favorite thing is when he goes & sits on Molly's potty and says, "Poop."  And sometimes he actually does - thankfully he hasn't figured out how to take off his diaper yet.

I Bet My Monday Is Worse Than Your Monday

I bet my Monday is worse than your Monday.  Here's why:

1) The toilet was clogged this morning.  Thankfully, the hubby took care of that one.

2) Hubby's car won't start.  Luckily the kids & I were dressed, so we drove him to work.

3) While taking the hubby to work, the dog ate all of my daughter's Halloween candy.  Chocolate, gummy bears, Nerds - everything.  Wrappers and all.  At least now my living room & dining room are freshly vacuumed.

4) After cleaning all the dog mess, I finally got a chance to use the bathroom.  (Did I mention I needed to do a #2 before leaving to take the hubby to work?)  While in the bathroom, my daughter used her potty that's downstairs.  Her little brother decided to pick up the full potty and dump it all over the kitchen floor.  So I got to mop that up.  I'm just thankful he didn't decide to bring it in the living room.  I'm pretty sure he was trying to be helpful and dump it in the kitchen sink.

5) I start my new job today.

And now that I'm sitting still, I'm pretty sure I stepped in pee and not just mopped floor because my socks smell like pee.  

I'm going to go shoot myself in the face now (and then change my socks and wash my feet).