OH. MY. GOD.

If spring doesn't come soon, I'm going to lose my God damn mind.  I mean it.

Four And Two

To start, let me say that I have Forty Six and Two stuck in my head.  It's been there for days.  And it had me thinking about M & E being 4 and 2.  Where in the world have these years gone?

And it's not the big things - it's the little things that add up.

Taco night has always been very popular at our house.  The kids have always had their deconstructed.  However, the last couple weeks, Molly has decided to eat everything together.  Meat, cheese, guacamole - all in the crunchy shell.  For my super picky peanut, this is a really big deal.

Emmett has started playing - like really playing.  He's really into super heroes and Star Wars.  And they have stories and adventures.  It's crazy watching his imagination develop.

Where did my tiny babies go?

Just A Normal Monday Morning, Right?

Dropping M off at school today was a little emotional.  I know, rationally, that she is safe, that nothing is going to happen.  She's going to have an awesome day getting ready for her mini-field trip to the nursing home tomorrow to sing Christmas carols for the elderly.  Which, quite frankly, I think is hilarious.  I wish I could be a fly on the wall in a room full of elderly people watching 4 & 5-year-olds' rendition of Jingle Bells.  As Barney Stinson would say, it's going to be legen - wait for it - dary.

Enough about that...

We've kept M & E completely in the dark about Sandy Hook Elementary.  Part of it is that I don't think they need to know.  Part of it is how do you even explain that?  I don't want her to be afraid to go to school or out in public.  I want to keep her faith in humanity for as long as possibly.  And there's a lot of good to show her in people's reactions to what happened, but it's just awful.

When parking the car,  I looked at the abandoned hospital near the parking lot, thinking about how easy it would be for someone to hide in there and pick kids & families off one by one with a sniper rifle.  Walking down the path to her class, I looked at her room (which is the same room Michael had kindergarten in) in a different light.  The first room near the exit, which always seemed so convenient for drop off and pick up, so easy to exit if there was a fire or other emergency, now seemed more like a liability if someone tried to enter, even though it's locked and there are 2 teachers there opening the door for the pre-k kids when they knock in the morning.

It was so hard to lock eyes with her teachers today.  Everyone on the staff at Turnpike Elementary that I've met has been wonderful.  I know that they would do the same for their kids that the teachers in Newton would have.  That is simultaneously so comforting and so sad.  I can't imagine how hard it must be for them today.  I only hope they know how much they are valued and appreciated.

So I gave M an extra big hug today and sent her into class to color and play and have an awesome day. And she will.  And that makes feel better.  And guilty because there are 20 sets of parents who can't do that on this Monday morning.

This Is Not My Hat

I'm going to keep these reviews short because I know we all have more important things to do but want to get good books for our kids.  So I'll try to let you know about books we've loved (or loathed) so you check them out or avoid them like the plague.  I'll rate them with trees (if I can ever find a picture that I like) on a scale of 0-5 trees with 5 trees being the best.

Last week we read This Is Not My Hat by Jon Klassen.  We'd read I Want My Hat Back by the same author a few months ago & really enjoyed it.

For the kids: It's funny.  The pictures are great.  There aren't too many words so the wee ones aren't bored.  They get to decide the end, which is fun to see what the kids come up with.  (Molly likes to kill the fish off when I read it.)

For Parents:  It's funny.  There aren't too many words so you don't get bored reading - what's more important than that?  It shows kids that you shouldn't take things that belong to you.  And that fish look really good in bowler hats.

  

Rating:   3.5 Trees

Kids' Book Reviews

Thinking I might turn this into a kid's book review.  Parents - thoughts?

So Disappointed In Myself

Not Really Sure What To Call This One

I've been reading so many posts about the election today.  And it makes me hopeful and sick at the same time.  I just wanted to put a personal spin on a few things.

I think about my marriage to Michael and to think that I wouldn't be allowed the same right if I had found a woman to love instead of him is just crazy to me.  Love is love, it's as simple as that.

My parents got divorced when I was really young.  My Mom relied a lot on our family but we were also on welfare and food stamps.  I remember the social worker coming to check on the house.  I remember being so embarrassed about having the red reduced lunch tickets when all my friends had the regular green tickets.  I remember the 10 cent lollipops that we would get as a treat when we would go to cash the welfare checks.  And I remember that things got better but we never would've gotten by without that aid.

When Michael & I first got together, I got pregnant.  And when I was about 4 months along, I had a D&C.  My other option would have been continue carrying what would have been a stillborn baby until my body fully rejected it and then having to go through the entire labor process.  Having gone through the process with Molly and Emmett, I can't even imagine what it would've been like to do that and then just have nothing at the end.  The thought that there are people who are okay with that and want to get rid of any and all forms of abortion makes me heartsick. Especially when it's someone who will never have to personally have that happen to their body.

And every woman has had that moment in her life where she's been alone with a guy who has gotten a little too close, leaned in a little far, walked a little too fast so they're catching up to you in a dark street or parking lot...  And you wonder what you're going to do if he tries something, if you're strong enough to fight back, if you could get away.  

So if you're going to say that the social issues don't matter in an election... yeah, they do.