Just A Normal Monday Morning, Right?

Dropping M off at school today was a little emotional.  I know, rationally, that she is safe, that nothing is going to happen.  She's going to have an awesome day getting ready for her mini-field trip to the nursing home tomorrow to sing Christmas carols for the elderly.  Which, quite frankly, I think is hilarious.  I wish I could be a fly on the wall in a room full of elderly people watching 4 & 5-year-olds' rendition of Jingle Bells.  As Barney Stinson would say, it's going to be legen - wait for it - dary.

Enough about that...

We've kept M & E completely in the dark about Sandy Hook Elementary.  Part of it is that I don't think they need to know.  Part of it is how do you even explain that?  I don't want her to be afraid to go to school or out in public.  I want to keep her faith in humanity for as long as possibly.  And there's a lot of good to show her in people's reactions to what happened, but it's just awful.

When parking the car,  I looked at the abandoned hospital near the parking lot, thinking about how easy it would be for someone to hide in there and pick kids & families off one by one with a sniper rifle.  Walking down the path to her class, I looked at her room (which is the same room Michael had kindergarten in) in a different light.  The first room near the exit, which always seemed so convenient for drop off and pick up, so easy to exit if there was a fire or other emergency, now seemed more like a liability if someone tried to enter, even though it's locked and there are 2 teachers there opening the door for the pre-k kids when they knock in the morning.

It was so hard to lock eyes with her teachers today.  Everyone on the staff at Turnpike Elementary that I've met has been wonderful.  I know that they would do the same for their kids that the teachers in Newton would have.  That is simultaneously so comforting and so sad.  I can't imagine how hard it must be for them today.  I only hope they know how much they are valued and appreciated.

So I gave M an extra big hug today and sent her into class to color and play and have an awesome day. And she will.  And that makes feel better.  And guilty because there are 20 sets of parents who can't do that on this Monday morning.

This Is Not My Hat

I'm going to keep these reviews short because I know we all have more important things to do but want to get good books for our kids.  So I'll try to let you know about books we've loved (or loathed) so you check them out or avoid them like the plague.  I'll rate them with trees (if I can ever find a picture that I like) on a scale of 0-5 trees with 5 trees being the best.

Last week we read This Is Not My Hat by Jon Klassen.  We'd read I Want My Hat Back by the same author a few months ago & really enjoyed it.

For the kids: It's funny.  The pictures are great.  There aren't too many words so the wee ones aren't bored.  They get to decide the end, which is fun to see what the kids come up with.  (Molly likes to kill the fish off when I read it.)

For Parents:  It's funny.  There aren't too many words so you don't get bored reading - what's more important than that?  It shows kids that you shouldn't take things that belong to you.  And that fish look really good in bowler hats.

  

Rating:   3.5 Trees

Kids' Book Reviews

Thinking I might turn this into a kid's book review.  Parents - thoughts?

So Disappointed In Myself

Not Really Sure What To Call This One

I've been reading so many posts about the election today.  And it makes me hopeful and sick at the same time.  I just wanted to put a personal spin on a few things.

I think about my marriage to Michael and to think that I wouldn't be allowed the same right if I had found a woman to love instead of him is just crazy to me.  Love is love, it's as simple as that.

My parents got divorced when I was really young.  My Mom relied a lot on our family but we were also on welfare and food stamps.  I remember the social worker coming to check on the house.  I remember being so embarrassed about having the red reduced lunch tickets when all my friends had the regular green tickets.  I remember the 10 cent lollipops that we would get as a treat when we would go to cash the welfare checks.  And I remember that things got better but we never would've gotten by without that aid.

When Michael & I first got together, I got pregnant.  And when I was about 4 months along, I had a D&C.  My other option would have been continue carrying what would have been a stillborn baby until my body fully rejected it and then having to go through the entire labor process.  Having gone through the process with Molly and Emmett, I can't even imagine what it would've been like to do that and then just have nothing at the end.  The thought that there are people who are okay with that and want to get rid of any and all forms of abortion makes me heartsick. Especially when it's someone who will never have to personally have that happen to their body.

And every woman has had that moment in her life where she's been alone with a guy who has gotten a little too close, leaned in a little far, walked a little too fast so they're catching up to you in a dark street or parking lot...  And you wonder what you're going to do if he tries something, if you're strong enough to fight back, if you could get away.  

So if you're going to say that the social issues don't matter in an election... yeah, they do.

Well Intentioned Neighbors

Generally, I enjoy my neighbors.  We don't really see that much of each other, my children are amused by their hijinks and they're really helpful in a snow storm.  So things are pretty good - until we have something scheduled and we're not home.

Now that we don't have Jack the dog to ruin everything, we thought it might be time to do a little work on the yard.  So we enlisted Lawn Dawg to treat our lawn, kill the large amount of weeds, and generally make us not feel like we're completely inadequate at taking care of green things.  See our yard  vs. our neighbor's yard - no clover!

We weren't home when they came last time, but our neighbor was.  It was the first time the tech had been to our house and he wasn't entirely sure what was to be done.  Our neighbor tried to tell him that because we had so many children's toys in the back yard, that we were only having the front treated.  This is our tiny spit of a front yard (it was much prettier when the irises were in bloom):

Not really worth paying someone to take care of, is it?  Luckily, Nana was here and our whole yard was treated.

Why do people think they can just offer opinions all the time?  I see things all the time that I want to comment on, but I don't.  I just make passive-aggressive posts on FB about them so I can smugly see that all my friends agree with me.  :-)

Anyway... here are some random other shots of our yard:
A really interesting moth that was hanging out next to the hosta (which I HATE, by the way - so if you'd like a giant hosta, please come dig mine out of the ground):

And the rose bush that, until we cut down half of the tree growing next to it 2 years ago, pretty much looked like it was going to die:

That's all for today.  2 posts in a month - that's pretty good based on my track record recently...

Tired, Tired, More Tired

So I had nothing at all to say in May?  Nice.  And I started this with such promise & hope.

I think it has more to do with the fact that I can't remember anything unless I write it down.  So all the witty, wonderful things my lovely family does fall right out of my head.  I may have to WebMD the symptoms for early-onset Alzheimer's (which I will conveniently forget to do before I've finished this post).

Wonderful things that happened today?  After dinner, Emmett figured out how to take off his shirt all on his own.  Which was much funnier when he started doing his "Muscles!" pose in brown corduroy pants.  And funnier still when Molly decided that she should do it as well.  And my almost 2-year-old and his 3 & 1/2 year old sister stood in the kitchen doing muscle poses for several minutes...

And now I can only hope that Emmett has decided to actually fall asleep after being tucked in 6 times while screaming at the top of his lungs that he's "all done" with bed.  Because Mama is T.I.R.E.D. after the last several mornings of him getting up at 5AM - also declaring that he's "all done" with bed.

I swear, I'll do better in June.  If someone reminds me.  Repeatedly.

Why I Had a Crappy Workout

I've been waiting a week or so to write this to see if the picture of this car still gets me angry.  It does.

Do you know the woman who drives this car?  She ruined my workout the other night.  Notice that she is in the left lane.  She was driving 50 miles per hour.  Infuriating.  Also notice that there is plenty of room for her to pull over so I can go by her.

So I try to go around her on the right.  And she jerks into the lane so I can't go around.  Repeatedly.  While I scream expletives loudly while being thankful the kids weren't in the car.

Finally, she pulls over to get off her exit.  And I secretly wish that I could drive my van right over her stupid Camry.  And instead I just jerk the van at her while I zoom by.

I was so annoyed when I got to spin class that I couldn't concentrate & ended up buying ice cream on the way home...

Sometimes Being a Grown-Up Sucks

Today we had to put down our dog, Jack.  He was our 2nd pet.  We got him about a year after we felt "grown up" enough to handle a cat.  I can pretty confidently say that Jack was one of the best dogs ever.  You could do anything with him or to him.  Until Molly was born, Jack was our baby.  And once Molly & Emmett were born, he was the best big brother to them both.

In January, Jack started having seizures.  Our vet put him on meds and they seemed to be helping until the other night.  Since Wednesday, he'd been having seizures every few hours.  Afterward, he would be completely woozy & out of it and the more he had, the harder it was for him to come out of them.  By this morning, he wasn't even waking up between them.  It was so hard to watch.  When we went to the vet this morning, they offered to add a new medicine, but our vet could really only say that he might have a few more good months and couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be anymore sets of days like this.  Actually, he could guarantee that there would be days like this.  Jack definitely hadn't been himself since the first round of seizures.  Sitting there at the vet with him on the floor, mostly asleep (when he used to love going to the vet), it hit me that he was pretty much gone and that it was me being selfish to keep trying new meds.

We had the kids come to the vet's office to say goodbye.  They were both so gentle with Jack.  It was really amazing to watch.  Emmett just patted him on the head.  Molly gave him the most wonderful hugs and kept saying how much she loved him & how much she would miss him.

Tonight when I put Emmett to bed, we say goodnight to all of our family members.  Before I could stop myself, I said, "Good night, Jack Dog."  And Emmett said, "Night, Jack" in his adorable 1-year-old voice. God that sucked.  It was so cute and so sweet.

Trying to explain to our 3-year-old why she wasn't going to see her best friend again was heartbreaking.  I don't think she full understands this whole thing but she kind of does - I'm not sure which is worse.  She asked who was going to feed Jack if he wasn't going to live with us anymore.  We tried to explain that he was going to fall asleep and he wasn't going to wake up.  And I think that hit home for her.  She hasn't really cried but every now & then she just buries her head in her hands and cuddles up with us.  I really don't know what to do other than hug her - especially when I'm barely holding it together myself.

I don't want to throw away his dog dishes or his bed.  I don't know what to do with his food.  I keep looking for him, expecting him to be laying on his bed or looking for something to eat & then realizing that I'm never going to see that again.

Ugh - being a grown-up sucks sometimes.

It's Been Awhile

The weekend before last, my lovely husband took both children grocery shopping.  Mommies - you know what that means: some much needed free time.

Want to know what I did?  I pooped.  I pooped without hearing any screaming of "Mommy, Emmett hit me!" or "Mommy, Jack ate my Cheerios!"  (Jack is our Golden Retriever.)  or a small person bursting through the door to sit on the stairs of our bathroom while I try to maintain some small sense of dignity.

Too much information?  Probably.  But if you're a parent, you know how wonderful it is to be home alone in your own house.  And I don't want any comments from those of you with pets.  You have no idea what it's like to try to use the bathroom while you're alone with small children.  And if you have no pets and no children, it's times like second paragraph that I hate you and your ability to poop in private and sleep past 7 AM whenever you want.

I Will Go To Hell For My Angry Driving

Okay, I love to drive.  I even love to drive in my big old Soccer Mom van.  There is however a long list of people who piss me off day in & day out on my commute to work.  I would like to share that list with you.

1) People From Vermont.  As a general rule, people from Vermont are the worst drivers.  They fall into every category that I'm about to list below.  I don't know who's worse, people from Vermont or people from Ohio.

2) Most People In the Left Lane.  Driving the speed limit in the left lane should be against the law.  Some of us have places to go, people to see and the middle or right lanes are perfect for those of you who want to go the speed limit.

3) Upper Middle Class Housewives In Luxury SUVs.  I go to work at noon.  These ladies are always in their (insert BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, etc.) SUVs, talking on their phones (that's illegal by the way), not paying any attention to anyone else on the road.  I will point out that generally the worst offenders are driving Cadillac Escalades.

4) People Who Don't Use A Turn Signal.  Start.  It helps everyone.

5) People Who Slow To An Almost Standstill To Take A Right Turn.  It's unnecessary.  Your car will not flip over if you take a right turn going faster than 3 miles an hour.

6) Practically Everyone Driving In The Rain.  We don't need to slow down so much.  Just saying.

I realize that one day my super long fingers will give me excruciating arthritis.  But for now, I'll just be thankful that they allow me to give awesome middle fingers and eat me signs to the people that piss me off on the road.