Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Will Go To Hell For My Angry Driving

Okay, I love to drive.  I even love to drive in my big old Soccer Mom van.  There is however a long list of people who piss me off day in & day out on my commute to work.  I would like to share that list with you.

1) People From Vermont.  As a general rule, people from Vermont are the worst drivers.  They fall into every category that I'm about to list below.  I don't know who's worse, people from Vermont or people from Ohio.

2) Most People In the Left Lane.  Driving the speed limit in the left lane should be against the law.  Some of us have places to go, people to see and the middle or right lanes are perfect for those of you who want to go the speed limit.

3) Upper Middle Class Housewives In Luxury SUVs.  I go to work at noon.  These ladies are always in their (insert BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, etc.) SUVs, talking on their phones (that's illegal by the way), not paying any attention to anyone else on the road.  I will point out that generally the worst offenders are driving Cadillac Escalades.

4) People Who Don't Use A Turn Signal.  Start.  It helps everyone.

5) People Who Slow To An Almost Standstill To Take A Right Turn.  It's unnecessary.  Your car will not flip over if you take a right turn going faster than 3 miles an hour.

6) Practically Everyone Driving In The Rain.  We don't need to slow down so much.  Just saying.

I realize that one day my super long fingers will give me excruciating arthritis.  But for now, I'll just be thankful that they allow me to give awesome middle fingers and eat me signs to the people that piss me off on the road.